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“Forgive the bad texters,” Julie Beck wrote in a recent Atlantic essay. Beck is one of them: She routinely leaves messages unanswered for days or even weeks, not because she doesn’t care but because she gets distracted, is burned-out, or simply forgets. Yet in a world where everyone is expected to be constantly reachable, a delayed reply can easily be mistaken for indifference.
Texting has made staying in touch easier than ever, but it has also turned communication into a near-constant obligation. A third of Americans report feeling overwhelmed by the number of texts they need to respond to, Beck writes. People have felt guilty about unanswered correspondence for centuries, but technology has escalated both those expectations and the anxiety that comes with meeting them.
Being a good texter, Beck suggests, isn’t the same as being a good friend. Someone who takes days to reply might still be the first to show up when you need them. So the next time a friend leaves you on read, consider giving them the benefit of the doubt. And if you’re the one with a growing pile of unanswered messages, maybe give yourself a little grace too.
The Texting Trap
Forgive the Bad Texters
By Julie Beck
We are truly sorry for our delayed response.
The Agony of Texting With Men
By Matthew Schnipper
Many guys are bad at messaging their friends back—and it might be making them more lonely. (From 2025)
Another Symptom of Growing Isolation
By Olga Khazan
A recent study found that people spoke fewer words a day in 2019 than in 2005.
Still Curious?
- Would you go back to a time before smartphones if you could? In this episode of How to Touch Grass, Natalie Brennan and Julie Beck explore what’s behind analog nostalgia—and what it means for our relationship with technology in the future.
- The tension that defines modern life: Most people have a smartphone. But many want to use it less, Beck writes.
Other Diversions
- “The nobel laureate who rescued me”
- The children of philanderers, by Tom Junod
- The marriage that captures a high point of American art
PS
My colleague Isabel Fattal recently asked readers to share a photo of something that sparks their sense of awe in the world. “About ten years ago, I saw a Joro spider for the first time. They are an invasive species from Asia. Since that time, they have become ubiquitous in my area,” Nancy C. from Marietta, Georgia, writes. “Last year I began to notice how incredibly beautiful the adult female spiders are. Their abdomens have a gorgeous, intricate design that looks like a colorful maze. I realized that for years, I had been walking by such sublime beauty, and I hadn’t even recognized it.”
We’ll continue to feature your responses in the coming weeks.
— Rafaela